The best thing about trying something new is that inevitably you end up learning something about yourself. The beginning of this blog and even my marathon training are two examples of new things I've tried this year. If you've been wondering where I've been for the last month or so - let's just say I've been off learning.
I don't consider myself to be a writer but I had a gut feeling that starting a blog would be a good thing for me - for all sorts of reasons. Writing is a good outlet for anyone. I love having a potential place for all those little thoughts that run through my head. I love the little release of creativity. And I like being forced to sit down and really think about things. It's not the easiest thing for me because I consider myself to be somewhat of a private person but I think pushing myself outside of my comfort zone is important right now.
Over the last few weeks I discovered that I don't feel like writing when I'm not in a great place. I know deep down that this is probably the best time to be writing but I just couldn't. As I'm reflecting on all of this, I'm thinking that I might try a different approach the next time I find myself in this spot. Those entries probably will be the ones reserved for my journal with the little key but at least I'll be writing and processing and hopefully learning.
Like writing, I also believe running is a great outlet for anyone. I know a lot of people don't like running but I think it is such a great way to clear your head and ultimately feel better about yourself. I don't care if you run a 7-minute mile or a 14-minute jog/walk; I think it's a good thing for anyone. So if I can inspire you in any way, get out there for even the briefest run today. I guarantee you'll feel better.
Ironically enough, and quite contrary to what I've just said above, I feel like my training for the marathon put me in a funk. The amount of running that was required with my training plan put too much pressure on me and it made me feel lonely. Very quickly into my training weeks, I started to lose motivation and felt depressed at the thought of running. I wrote to a few runner bloggers who seem to never complain about going out the door each day for their runs and asked them where they got their motivation. The answers I received weren't necessarily comforting because nearly everyone said it was the one part of the day that they had to themselves and they enjoyed that ME time. These responses made me realize that, for my particular situation, I don't really need more ME time. Well actually I do, but I need a different sort of ME time. Life as a stay at home mom is fairly isolating and a solitary job and since the majority of my runs were alone it gave me this depressed feeling. If I could do all my runs with friends it wouldn't be a problem because I love to log the miles while chatting with friends. My current situation doesn't allow that sort of scenario every run.
So... after beating myself up I did two things; cut back on the running dramatically and started a running club one day a week. Initially, I was disappointed that I didn't stick to the training plan but I've worked through it. I really don't need to put more pressure on myself or feel guilty about another thing. I'm still training for the marathon, I'll still be there on November 4th and I'm still going to have fun. And, really, that's all that matters. Oh, and also that I learn something.
PS: Thanks for the kick in the pants to get me back on here. You know who you are.
